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We may earn commission from links on this page, but we only recommend products we love. Don't refer to me as a tranny. The term tranny makes me feel like a thing rather than a person. Porn companies are giving their audience a fantasy. Unfortunately, these fantasies are all too often produced and directed by cis men. Simply put: Don't let what you see in porn dictate how you communicate with a trans woman.

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Harder than living through a divorce at the same time as a child; harder than being mugged for a Buffy VHS boxset beyond Virgin Megastore in Bradford; harder than being a queer teenager in bucolic Yorkshire; harder than being a coach in an Ofsted-failing school; harder than getting my first novel published; harder than being unceremoniously dumped by the love of my life. Yes, constant harder than telling Mum I was a gay man more than 10 years earlier. The ideal scenario would have been soft-focused. We are not that kind of family. We are northern. Coming out as a gay man was a slow process designed for me. It was cowardly, but I let her work it out designed for herself, gradually distancing myself until it was down to her to cylinder me back in. She wanted en route for know what our plans for the evening were. Maybe we could acquire a drink.

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