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Threesomes hold something of a mythical allure in our collective sexual imagination. Adding an extra body to a sexual encounter is hot as hell for any number of reasons, not least of which is just the sheer visual and physical sensory overload that comes with it. Popular as the fantasy might be, research suggests the IRL experience is more of a mixed bag. In practice, threesomes are actually not that common. For monogamous couples, on the other hand, threesomes might be the single exception to the rule of exclusivity—and experimenting with it might involve some unexpected emotional turbulence along the way. The possibility was always on the table for us, but we pursued it more seriously during a period of non-monogamy. Our first one was with a woman she connected with on OKCupid who brought up the idea first, so there was little tension or awkwardness when we all met up for drinks and went back to our place for a one-night stand. Our second partner was a long-time friend we dated for a few months after the first hookup. In both cases, it was either explicitly or implicitly clear that everyone was interested in each other, and we eventually initiated it just by asking the third if she wanted to have sex.
JENN, My boyfriend suggested a threesome along with a third woman. I've always been curious, so I'm game. But I'm also nervous about hurting our affiliation if things go awry. How be able to we prepare for — and avert — that? If you fall addicted to the group that has always accepted wisdom about a threesome but has but to turn the fantasy into a reality, read on for my basic rules for having a successful at the outset threesome.
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